It stings. I play this game to raid; I will always be a raid healer, it's what I love. But it got to the point where I was spending every spare moment doing my Taz devil impression, whirlwinding around to try to keep everything running, to keep our heads above water. It's definitely been a labour of love.
Unfortunately, I had more faith in my team than my team had in themselves. A handful of them decided that we couldn't keep going (despite the fact that we had a very successful raid week). And we all know what happens then - it snowballs as more and more people decide that if we've lost 1 person, we'll lose more, and then more, and it becomes a race to see who can leave first - because nobody wants to hang around when things get messy.
Some people did us proud. They stuck around, despite telling me that they would like to find another team. They were committed to seeing things through and finishing what we started. Unfortunately we couldn't do that.
Other people just jumped and didn't look back.
And others took it that one teeeeeeeeny step further into "unhealthy e-rage" territory, leaving me love notes to discover in the morning:
...f#$k you, now im actually gonna help tear your pathetic excuse for a guild apart.
srs game... is srs.
I guess I am quite naive and old fashioned, I tend to think of this game as a really pretty chat interface - this is a social network to me. But to others it is purely about winning, about loot, about colouring in their achievement panes.. and it doesn't matter who they step on or step over or leave behind to do that. That makes me sad, because I count all of my guildmates as friends, so when they jump ship without a word, it does hurt.
I think in most cases it is probably embarrassment though, that people feel they can't hang around anymore. I would be lying if I said I wasn't angry at them for being quitters. If they had held it together for just two more days, things would have been dramatically different. Two days.. but they quit and walked away.
I don't hold grudges though.
Well, unless you turn your personal issues with me into a vendetta against my entire guild. That pretty much gets you stricken from my Christmas list indefinitely.
So for me.. it's time to go casual. Kick back. Breathe. Take a break from pushing 20-odd people up a hill when they really didn't want to be going up the hill at all.. they just wanted an easy ride to the picnic at the top.
I have to stop using so many lame analogies.
Time to farm, finish reps (finally got that darn Cenarion rep done), fish, do 10s, heroics, dailies. Blog!!! I've missed you, blog.
I need a holiday, and intend to take one soon.
Last night I had my first good night's sleep in weeks.
I chose the name Inexorable. At this point, the people who left are probably laughing and thinking it is an ironic name. Personally, I think it is more fitting than ever.